Oh, the questions they ask!

I have a Jar’o’sex.  It’s actually an old applesauce jar that I’ve painted with those words.  I pass the Jar around my college Human Sexuality classes, especially toward the beginning of the semester, and have students drop in anonymous questions.  (I have a similar process with my younger students, but we use a different container.)  I have two classes this semester, and they’ve asked some really great questions on the first round.  I thought you, my faithful readers, might be interested in knowing what sorts of questions college students have about sex, so here’s the list, sorted into general topics, and corrected for the more egregious spelling and grammatical errors:


  • Does a man have a g-spot? If so, where, and how do you get to it?
  • Is there any benefit, at all, if you swallow semen?
  • Why do people find anal sex pleasurable?
  • Can a man puncture or make your bladder sore from penetrating too deep?
  • When a girl turns me on a lot and gets me horny this clear liquid comes out of my penis. What is that? And does it happen to a lot of people?
  • What exactly is the “g-spot”?
  • Why is sex in water so dry?
  • Does anal sex lead to “going on yourself” when you are older?
  • What is in any way appealing about anal sex?
  • How do you get a sex drive back? I feel like I’ve lost mine.
  • My girlfriend doesn’t have a very big sex drive. How can I increase it?


  • Do sexual attraction and basic chemistry differ from one other? Beautiful woman is great but sex isn’t. Why?
  • How important is a female’s body to a man? Do they really expect all women to be a size 2 with huge boobs?


  • What is the best way to talk about sex with parents or with your children?
  • How do you keep a sexual relationship to be one with no strings attached when you start falling for your casual sexual partner?
  • Once after sex, my girlfriend and I were watching UP and I experienced a surge of emotions and began crying. Why is this?
  • How should I handle a girl who was sexually molested as a child?

Is this normal?

  • What percentage of women in the USA don’t have orgasms?
  • Do you feel like people who were sexually assaulted/violated at a young age have a hard time becoming intimate/climaxing at a later age?
  • How prevalent is homosexuality in adolescent males?
  • What percent of people who actually get tested regularly or before a new partner?
  • What is the right age to start having sex?
  • Is it normal to dream about doing something with the same sex, but thinking it’s gross when awake?


  • How is sex not accepted in the Christian religion? Does having sex corrupt your mind and innocents?
  • What is the opinion of the academic sex educator community on pornography?
  • Why don’t girls carry condoms when they know they are going to have sex?
  • Why does American society have such negative perceptions about having sex and so few teachings of safe ways to have sex, or being able to talk to parents/doctors without fear of being judged?
  • How and to what criteria do men judge sleeping with a new woman? What is too wild? What is too reserved?
  • Does size matter?


  • What is fourplay?
  • When did you have sex at first?  (I won’t answer this question.  I answer almost everything, but nothing personal.)
  • What got you interested in teaching a class on sexuality?  (Okay, this one is personal, but I’ll answer it anyway…)

About Karen Rayne

Dr. Karen Rayne has been supporting parents and families since 2007 when she received her PhD in Educational Psychology. A specialist in child wellbeing, Dr. Rayne has spent much of her career supporting parents, teachers, and other adults who care for children and teenagers.


  1. When’s your next YouTube video with these questions????? 🙂

  2. Karen, you have the most interesting job of anybody I know. 😉

  3. Ruth – I was thinking about that as I was writing up these questions… I think for right now I am going to focus on getting the blog written regularly again, but then I do hope to get back to occasional YouTube videos!

    Celeste – Thanks! I think so too!

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