Everything you always wanted to know about sex…by Dr. Karen Rayne

Next week I will be speaking at an event for middle and high school students.  I will spend an hour answering every question that the high school students can throw at me.  I did this last year, and while very educational, useful, and probably the most intensive and informative sexuality education that these young people had received in their lives up to that point, it was exhausting for me.  I answered a huge range of questions, including:

  • “What hole does IT go in?” (This one was whispered to me, as the asker was too shy to say it out loud.)
  • “My girlfriend says her doctor says antibiotics make birth control not work and that’s why she got pregnant – is my girlfriend a liar?  She’s gonna have the baby in a few months and I figure I should know if she’s been lying to me.”
  • “I want to tell my mom I’m having sex, but I’m worried she’ll throw me out of the house if she knows.  What should I do?”

These were the most memorable questions, for me, because they were asked with such extraordinary pain, and they weren’t really questions that had a place to be asked anywhere else.

I have a theory that both young people and adults come to classes about sex and sexuality with a question or a topic that has been particularly burning in them, worrying them.  Too many classes don’t provide an opportunity for people to ask these questions.  The topic of the class or the event is contraception or STIs or relationships or gender or media, and while this is useful and good, no event, no class (even a semester or year long one) will be able answer everyone’s big question.

So I’m happy that this event has set up a time when any question, no matter what it is, will be answered, and I’m proud that I am able to offer this service and my knowledge to these young people.

I’m happy to come offer something similar for your event, your school, your group.  While it is more informative for something like this to be nicely supported and situated within a comprehensive sexuality class because more questions come out over time, a one-time, ask-everything session is certainly better than nothing!

About Karen Rayne

Dr. Karen Rayne has been supporting parents and families since 2007 when she received her PhD in Educational Psychology. A specialist in child wellbeing, Dr. Rayne has spent much of her career supporting parents, teachers, and other adults who care for children and teenagers.

1 Comment

  1. Love your website, blog and perspective! I am a sexuality educator, teaching comprehensive sexuality education to kids beginning with puberty in 4th grade and continuing all the way through high school. Truly a great model with good outcomes in so many ways in addition to low teen pregnancy rates!

    I’m very concerned about recent federal and state cuts that are forcing programs like mine to be cut. Parents HAVE to be involved … as do people like us who are passionate about this topic and about supporting, inspiring and encouraging teens in being the best they can be!

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