Comments on: Thinking about what it means to be transgender

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 15:15:11 +0000

Thanks for your comments, Janelle! You know, at the time I wrote this post I initially wrote transgender, but my spell corrected me and encouraged me to say transgendered instead. Rather than trusting what I knew to be true or even properly looking it up, as I should have, I just went with spell check. But I’ve gone back now and corrected the post.

And thank you also for the great resources!

By: Janelle Snowhook

Janelle Snowhook — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 05:20:02 +0000

I just found your website via a FB friend. I’ve been reading back and love what you have to say!

I would encourage you to use the term “transgender” instead of “transgendered”. Think of it like this- would you say “he’s gayed”? Being transgender is not something that happens to someone, it is who they are.

On another note, there are other video clips on the TransActive Education & Advocacy website with transgender identified children. http://www.TransActiveOnline.org

The great thing for these kids about having a supportive family is that there will be less of a NEED for them to have any surgery in their futures. With early hormone blockers, then cross hormones as a teen, they will only go through puberty once, and avoid secondary sex characteristics (facial hair, lower voice, breasts, etc) that often are surgically altered when a person transitions later in life.

By: Tina Elizabeth

Tina Elizabeth — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 04:45:26 +0000

hello there are new videos posted.

the Dr. Oz clips with Spanish subtitles.

the Tyra Banks Show with one of the children from the Dr. Oz (Josie) a 7 year old trans-boy (Kennedy) their family’s and some adult experts including Kim Pearson of Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA) an advocacy organization for trans-gendered youth, and Dr. Marci Bowers.

at the end of the clip “Tyra part 3 Transgender children and their parents speak out” there is an interaction between the 2 trans children that is genuine and priceless.

By: Robert H

Robert H — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 21:29:57 +0000

Transgenderism has always been a tough one for me, but I did find this article about Hawaiian transsexuals fascinating.

http://www.kaleo.org/from-m-h-to-m-h-wahine-1.2188106

UH student chronicles the history of Hawaiian transsexuals in her thesis

By MARY RENEE REUTER

Jamie “N?oi” Tabag stands with her h?nai mother and the subject of her research, “Aunty Charmaine” Lee Anderson, after her presentation on m?h?wahine at the Hawaiian Studies Building.

When Jamie “N?oi” Tabag began her undergraduate work for Hawaiian studies at the University of Hawai‘i at M?noa, she noticed something missing from her history lessons.

It was the history of the m?h?, and Tabag dedicated her thesis, “M?h?wahine, Hawaiian Transsexual Experience,” to their stories.

By: Keely

Keely — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:23:35 +0000

LOL Ruth! I’m not saying my 2 fit into societal gender roles! They just love being their gender. My daughter has developed a preference for dresses and pink, but that is probably because I always wear dresses and all her little boyfriends Love pink (it’s such a wonderful color!) My son also loves pink–especially his sister’s striped, pink tights! If you ask him, he will tell you he is a boy. He often tells me some of his stuffed animals have penises because they are boys too!

By: Ruth Rinehart

Ruth Rinehart — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 03:10:07 +0000

Alice, I hope you soon let yourself stop struggling with feeling that you are not “feminine” enough. You are whole, complete, wonderfully complex, and perfect as you are. I hope your intimate partner treasures this in you. I know it will be good for your girls to see you confident in this rich aspect of yourself as they grow up.

By: Ruth Rinehart

Ruth Rinehart — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:10:56 +0000

Fabulous post and conversation, Karen. And, interestingly, I felt the opposite of Keely; I was and continue to be so grateful that my two girls are NOT strongly identified with the cultural gender identity. I don’t know if I could have stood it, if they wanted the pink skirts and frilly girly stuffy … I tried to stay out of the way, but they were both happy to be dressed in sturdy, practical clothes, often from the boys’ racks at the stores.

My youngest daughter seems to have more testosterone than most men I know, combined! Disconcerting, at times, but I just watch, and try and stay out of the way.

Regarding the Steiner concept, I don’t particularly resonate with it as a true explanation. I’ve come to simply accept the transgender experience as part of the Mystery of life … all things cannot be knowable. A wonderful former boyfriend of mine is now a girlfriend of mine! To watch her transformation has been amazing and mysterious as well.

I’d love to see more comments on this topic.

By: Alice

Alice — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:05:00 +0000

Anatomical sex is sometimes ambiguous at birth: intersexuality is not all that uncommon. It makes sense to me that if there are people whose external genitalia are ambiguous, then there are also people whose gender is ambiguous on the inside, or whose insides don’t match their outsides. It’s all a part of human variation.

I myself am both anatomically and psychologically female and attracted to men; however, I have long struggled with feeling that I am not feminine enough because I have absolutely no, zero, zilch interest in fashion/makeup/jewelry/hairstyles. Fashion magazines make me run screaming. I’m not interested in sports or cars either so I can’t even be a tomboy!

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:58:21 +0000

I think this is a common feeling, Keely. But I also know that you would love and care for and support your children regardless of what their gender identity was - just as you will regardless of what their sexual orientation is. We can be glad that our children are so long as we remember to love and accept and support them just as much because of the areas where they struggle as the places where they are easy going.

By: Keely

Keely — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:31:26 +0000

We have a couple friends that we know are transgender (I say “know” because there could be others that are transgender and we are not close enough to them to share). Neither of these friends know each other, or are really likely to meet. One is a brilliant engineer who is currently living with monks in Nepal. The other is a teacher and ex-army. One is with a man and the other often dates women. I feel privileged to know both of these wonderful ladies!

However, recently, I noticed what a deep sense of relief I feel that both of my young children so strongly identify with their biological gender. I know that there can often be some “gender confusion” with toddlers that turn out to be transgender. It seems to me more of a physical disorder than a psychological one. Something that requires surgery to fix.

I decided not to feel guilty in my relief that my children do not exhibit symptoms of this. I am relieved that they don’t have a whole host of possible life altering, or serious conditions. I am glad that there are treatments for those who are not the gender that their body suggests. It goes back to the old adage: You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Just because someone looks like a man or a woman, doesn’t mean that they actually are that. And, yes, gender identity does not seem to me to be that strongly connected to sexual attraction.