With all the bad news about adolescent sexuality in general and sex education in Texas specifically (see here and here to get the point), I feel it is time to sit down and get serious about this stuff.

At least three Texas public school districts use the Wonderful Days sex education curriculum, which goes above and beyond the typical, boring sex education classroom activities that permeate this topic to introduce ideas through easy-to-remember verses like this:

“If a woman is dry, the sperm will die. If a woman is wet, a baby she may get!”

<<NOTE: This remainder of this post is for much-needed comedic relief only!>>

Brilliant!  I think we need to focus more of our collective attention on condensing and reducing all our primary topics and messages in sex ed to simplistic little diddies!  My husband and I will get us started, but please add your own ideas in the comments section.  Remember: we can only make a serious difference in our young people’s lives if we all throw ourselves into the work of educating them as fully as possible.

For Abstinence Only:

  • “If you don’t want a kid, then keep your crotch hid.”
  • “If you think babies are dirty, then don’t get too flirty.”
  • “Wait ’till you marry, to touch parts that are hairy.”
  • “If you try up-the-butt, you’ll be labeled a slut.”

For Comprehensive Curricula:

  • “Give same-sex a try, and the stork will not fly.”
  • “Before you do oral on your man, be sure and get a dental dam.”
  • “Tend to her clit, or your woman will quit.”
  • “You can buy condoms regardless of your age, so don’t let that keep you in your cage.”

Now add on!  There are lots more topics that need more tending to, including but not limited to: anatomy and physiology, gender, the pill, the entire range of STDs, and, of course, saddlebacking.