Comments on: What is virginity worth?

By: Ellie

Ellie — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:40:01 +0000

The girl that sleeps with her roomate for rent to be covered is a prostitute, without any grey area. She may not feel bad about it. You may not feel she is even doing anything “wrong”, although other may disagree. But, the fact is she is sleeping with someone she is not in a relationship with, and she’s doing it for money, plain and simple.

The Dictionary offers insight:

prostitute
–noun
1.a person who engages in sexual intercourse for money

Just because someone may not fall into OUR cultural/social idea of what a prostitute is (ex. drug addict w/ pimp), doesn’t mean much. This girl’s actions are completely in line with the definition of a prostitute.

By: Alice

Alice — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:30:40 +0000

First of all, I can’t seem to let go of the romanticized idea that if you love someone, you won’t care if he or she is a virgin or not.

Second, I’m not going to touch the sex-for-money thing, but it reminds me of another issue. Suppose a man and a woman are living together in a platonic relationship. Both of them would like to have kids, but they haven’t met “the one” yet, so they decide to have sex and get pregnant and co-parent the kid together. Society then turns against them because they aren’t married. How is this any different from people having a romantic attraction and getting married and divorced and co-parenting their kid? I mean, isn’t it simpler to not get married in the first place and parent with someone you actually like?

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 03:35:53 +0000

How do you answer that second question, Jairy? (Or anyone else!) Is it the implicit/explicit difference? Is it the actual money/goods and services difference? Is it that most people have put out after a good date but not for cash, and so they fall back on the in-group/out-group belief structure to feel that they are still a good person?

There’s lots to talk about here, but on this point, I’m really interested in what ya’ll have to say, not what I have to say!

By: Jairy

Jairy — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 02:17:27 +0000

Hi Karen. Where have I been? I had not heard this story but I can bet that it will come up in OWL very soon. But this does raise a good discussion on the topic.

To answer your first question, I think I agree with you more on the notion that it is a pissing contest between men. There is also a bit of ego boosting involved because our society places a high emotional price on virginity, as it if giving it up to someone is some reward. Dan Savage had a call on this on his podcast last week. I don’t understand the desire to have intercourse with a virgin. Not to say that I wouldn’t if it were someone I cared about and had a relationship with, but perhaps I have intellectualized it to the point that you mentioned above with intensity and/or bad lover notion.

Second, I’ve often wondered about your end of date questions and that gray area that emerges with them. Is the line the implicit/explicit notion of intercourse? And if so, does it make a real difference?

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:27:43 +0000

Thanks for pointing me towards the site, Steve. But I’ll admit I’m actually less interested in the particulars of Natalie Dylan and more interested in the general concepts of virginity and prostitution. So I don’t really care if she’s a farce or what she intends to do with the money or the man. But I am very interested in the general reaction to Ms. Dylan and her intentions.

I wonder why the author of this article was moved to look so closely at Ms. Dylan’s intentions and history? It’s just so telling of our societal issues that Ms. Dylan has become such a national story of the moment, and that people have become so fascinated that they want to know all about her past and predict her future.

By: Steve Caldwell

Steve Caldwell — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:24:15 +0000

Karen,

I don’t know if you’ve seen this article on the CNET computer news web site:

5 questions for woman selling her virginity online
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10141324-71.html

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:53:59 +0000

HAHAHAHAHAHA! If I didn’t hate the acronym ROLFMAO , I would use it right now.

By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:49:31 +0000

Lighten up? OK.

“Now, Kaytlyinn. You had better not violate your Abstinence Pledge. Your virginity could really be worth something someday! Just look at Natalie Dylan!”

By: karenrayne

karenrayne — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:20:48 +0000

You’re right, Bob, except that prostitution does seem to come along with huge hang-ups. I wonder where and when it became such a huge taboo? Maybe it has something to do with men wanting to know for sure their lineage, and someone who sells sex generally has sex with more than one person? (The 68-year-old multimillionaire aside, of course.)

But we should totally lighten up, I mean even those randy penguins do it! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/60302.stm

By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:16:51 +0000

I’m pretty sure that these multimillion dollar sums have a huge “I’m the guy who had that girl on TV’s virginity” factor to it. If she wasn’t in the throes of her 15 minutes of fame right now, I don’t see someone paying $4 million for sex with her.

Secondly, I’m not sure what the hangup about prostitution is. Sex for money goes on all the time. Or did you actually believe the 22-year-old hottie when she says she’s with that 68-year-old multimillionaire because “he makes her laugh”?

What makes that sex-for-money arrangement any different from a simple cash transaction?