About Karen Rayne

Dr. Karen Rayne has been supporting parents and families since 2007 when she received her PhD in Educational Psychology. A specialist in child wellbeing, Dr. Rayne has spent much of her career supporting parents, teachers, and other adults who care for children and teenagers.


  1. What do I think? Frankly, I’m a little more concerned about the fuzzy emotional boundaries this video depicts, rather than whether or not the young man is going to reciprocate oral or wrap his wiener…. I mean, MOM! Get back to your own bedroom and see if you can get the old man to do for you what you want the son to do in the so-called “privacy” of his own….

  2. Um … I’m all for open conversation, but I found this totally creepy.

    The story in Robert Fulghum’s “True Love,” where the teenage son finds the cheap trashy mags under his mattress replaced with some better quality erotica mags — that, I found sweet.

  3. While I think the above comments would be spot on if this clip was supposed to be any sort of model for actual maternal behavior, I took it to be, um – tongue in cheek? Obviously, such behavior on the part of a mother would be totally inappropriate but the point is well taken that one should teach one’s children to be safe and to consider sex to be something that has to be mutually enjoyed. Just at a more appropriate time and in a more appropriate way, of course.

  4. This made me laugh out loud, then I showed my husband who guffawed. We’re in the middle of raising teenaged boys, and this video–OK, while it’s not what I’m planning to actually do in my house, it’s spot on to what we’re dealing with here in our family. Ethics and morals are so much more than just “if” and “when”, but with whom and how are you being responsible in a myriad of ways? Emotional and relational responsibility and as we see in this video, soooooo much more. Not easy stuff to talk about with my sons, but important.

  5. I love the range of responses here. Yes, a bit creepy, ut yes, in the realm of what we want to be able to impart to our children. But, what I’m surprised about is there was no mention that the young adults didn’t appear to be using condoms for oral sex. Did I miss that?

  6. I was just relieved he took mom’s advice (or already had planned to reciprocate). That redeemed any awkward mom issues I experienced.

    Found this blog via Alternet and am mighty glad for the find. Our eldest is only 11 but in California we all do things a bit earlier than in other parts of the continent. We’re progressive parents trying to navigate this stuff in a conservative controlled area where our daughter is more likely to encounter a boy or girl who has to hide from conservative parents… we’re also worried about our own kid-positive and sex-positivity is already seen as immoral and other nonsense because of how conservative and abstinence only our town is (we didn’t do enough research before we moved here, clearly).

    Anyway, nice vid. Nice blog. We’re learning a lot.

  7. Thank you so much for your kind words, JustJack! I am delighted you found my site through Alternet too.

    Supporting your kids in an area where you go against the political flow can be very difficult. I’m in Texas, where I (and my kids!) often stand out like a sore thumb. Feel free to e-mail me with specific questions, and I do consultations with people all over if you are looking for more specific support in this area.


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