Comments on: Staying interested http://karenrayne.com/2008/11/19/staying-interested/ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 06:53:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Paul Sunstone http://karenrayne.com/2008/11/19/staying-interested/comment-page-1/#comment-3968 Paul Sunstone Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:25:12 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=483#comment-3968 Wow! I thought I already responded to this. I must be getting old enough to be loosing my memory. Yikes! I just wanted to thank you, Karen, for such good advice. You've answered my questions and have helped considerably. Last week, after reading this, I took away renewed feelings of hope for making a difference. Also, I found Dorian's advice helpful too. Thank you, Dorian! Wow! I thought I already responded to this. I must be getting old enough to be loosing my memory. Yikes!

I just wanted to thank you, Karen, for such good advice. You’ve answered my questions and have helped considerably. Last week, after reading this, I took away renewed feelings of hope for making a difference.

Also, I found Dorian’s advice helpful too. Thank you, Dorian!

]]> By: karenrayne http://karenrayne.com/2008/11/19/staying-interested/comment-page-1/#comment-3936 karenrayne Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:12:25 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=483#comment-3936 These are great comments, Dorian! Thanks for your input. These are great comments, Dorian! Thanks for your input.

]]> By: Bob http://karenrayne.com/2008/11/19/staying-interested/comment-page-1/#comment-3935 Bob Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:12:00 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=483#comment-3935 What do teenage boys want? That's an easy one: pizza. If there's one thing I remember from being a teenage boy it's the constant hunger. I probably ate 5000 calories/day and still couldn't get my weight above about 120. What do teenage boys want? That’s an easy one: pizza.

If there’s one thing I remember from being a teenage boy it’s the constant hunger. I probably ate 5000 calories/day and still couldn’t get my weight above about 120.

]]> By: Dorian Rinehart http://karenrayne.com/2008/11/19/staying-interested/comment-page-1/#comment-3934 Dorian Rinehart Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:00:26 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=483#comment-3934 I agree that teenagers need trusted adults to talk with and that the trusted adults need to be interested. I'd like to comment on two pieces of being a disinterested adult. One piece is that after years of being interested in something, sometimes the interest gets used up and can't be revitalized in the same subject, sometimes a person has to move on to a different topic. Sometimes, when boredom is setting in, it is more about the individual feeling pulled to a different topic or type of conversation. So, Paul may be ready to move on. Or, the second piece is that I've found myself to be disinterested in a conversation and, after much attention to myself and the conversation and the other person in the conversation, I've realized that sometimes what I am feeling is the inability of the other person to talk about what is really on their mind - they want to have a conversation with me and they feel unable to have the particular conversation they are interested in, so they are having some other conversation, hoping it will satisfy their desire without requiring the depth of their true desire (which is often scary to them). That tends to result in a boring conversation, even though, especially with teens, it might sound like an important conversation about sex. Teens often want to talk about values and morals in their lives and in the lives of the adults they value, but it is easier to talk about 'sex' and ask questions about such a topic, than to expose their desire for a real, honest conversation about spirituality and how it can affect them on a day to day basis. I'd encourage Paul, and you, Dr Rayne, if this ever occurs to you, to listen harder when you notice yourself feeling bored, and see if there is another conversation trying to be spoken. And then have the courage to bring the true conversation to light. It's hard work, but very satisfying. Good luck to both of you - you do great work! I agree that teenagers need trusted adults to talk with and that the trusted adults need to be interested. I’d like to comment on two pieces of being a disinterested adult.

One piece is that after years of being interested in something, sometimes the interest gets used up and can’t be revitalized in the same subject, sometimes a person has to move on to a different topic. Sometimes, when boredom is setting in, it is more about the individual feeling pulled to a different topic or type of conversation. So, Paul may be ready to move on.

Or, the second piece is that I’ve found myself to be disinterested in a conversation and, after much attention to myself and the conversation and the other person in the conversation, I’ve realized that sometimes what I am feeling is the inability of the other person to talk about what is really on their mind - they want to have a conversation with me and they feel unable to have the particular conversation they are interested in, so they are having some other conversation, hoping it will satisfy their desire without requiring the depth of their true desire (which is often scary to them). That tends to result in a boring conversation, even though, especially with teens, it might sound like an important conversation about sex.

Teens often want to talk about values and morals in their lives and in the lives of the adults they value, but it is easier to talk about ’sex’ and ask questions about such a topic, than to expose their desire for a real, honest conversation about spirituality and how it can affect them on a day to day basis.

I’d encourage Paul, and you, Dr Rayne, if this ever occurs to you, to listen harder when you notice yourself feeling bored, and see if there is another conversation trying to be spoken. And then have the courage to bring the true conversation to light. It’s hard work, but very satisfying.

Good luck to both of you - you do great work!

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