Lux Alptraum of Boinkology wrote this post this morning:
I got my first vibrator when I was seventeen. It was pink, glittery, and penis shaped — and really, nothing to write home about. But it was still my first vibrator. I bought it at Babeland, took it home… and thus began my love affair with marital aids.
On some level, seventeen seems a little old to be discovering the joys of enhanced self love — but actually, it was technically too young. In my home state of New York, eighteen is the minimum age for sex toy purchases — and in other places, it goes as high as twenty-one.
Given our country’s stand on teen pregnancy (we hate it) and teen sex (not too fond of that one, either), it boggles my mind that we’re similarly opposed to teen masturbation. After all, teenagers are walking balls of hormones, full of vim, vigor, and sexual energy (mostly the latter): if we don’t want them to have sex, surely masturbation is an excellent way for them to deal with all those unwholesome urges.
But there’s more to it than that. For young people — and especially for young women — masturbation is an excellent way to learn about one’s body and sexual response, a way to discover what you like (and what gets you off) before you explore with a partner. Throw in a dildo or vibrator, and well — let’s just say it’s advanced exploration.
So given all of that, I’m tempted to say that girls should be given vibrators as soon as they hit high school age — or maybe even before (puberty rite of passage, anyone?). After all, what better way to celebrate emerging womanhood than with a big heaping helping of self love?
Of course, it’s not quite that simple: there’s that pesky little matter of state law, which complicates things a bit. But why are we so opposed to teens having vibes and dildos — and really, is it so bad for teens to know some electronic love? When would you recommend that a person get their first sex toy? Hey, inquiring minds want to know.
And here’s how I responded:
The problem, Lux, is that our society does not just dislike teenagers having sex because it may produce babies or spread disease – they dislike teenagers, particularly girls, having sex because it acknowledges the the teenager as a sexual being. And follow that train of thought to this point: Teenage girls masturbating acknowledges them as sexual beings too. Maybe even more than just sex – because that might have been at the prompting of a boy. Masturbation is purely about the young woman’s own sexual desires, which we’re scared shirtless about.
As to when a young woman should receive her first vibrator? Well, the problem with going too young is that it might just scare her off masturbation entirely. In general, I would probably suggest when she turns sixteen.
However, with the caveat that some girls will put them to good use younger. Girls who are particularly vocal or active about their sexuality could probably use one much younger.
And all this led me to another thing I’ve been pondering for some time now: Should teenage boys be given a masturbation sleeve, much like teenage girls should be given a vibrator? I’m not very familiar with masturbation sleeves, nor have I ever had a conversation with someone who is. I’d love to be enlightened about them – please pass on anything you know!
I think if a boy wants a masturbation sleeve, he should be able to get one. The main difference between a masturbation sleeve and a vibrator in my mind, is that most boys don’t require (or even necessarily want) a masturbation sleeve in order to explore their bodies and learn to orgasm. For many women, however, vibrators are an important (and sometimes essential) tool for learning how to orgasm.
I am 100% in favor of teenagers masturbating. I don’t know what I would have done with my late teens without masturbation. Imploded, probably.
I’m a little uncertain about why a vibrator or dildo or masturbation sleeve is important, though. Hands are free, don’t take up space in a drawer, are widely available, and don’t need batteries.
Alice: By giving a teen a toy, it is a physical manifestation of saying that it is okay to explore. It’s the difference between saying “Sure, go masturbate, figure it out yourself,” and “Your sexuality is important, you deserve pleasure, this tool will help you discover it in a healthy way.” Also, for girls, hands don’t always work. If we give girls vibrators, we also need to let them know that it’s okay to use your hands- I, personally, have never had an orgasm from my own touch.
As far as sleeves go, sure I think boys should have access to them. Why not? If girls have access to toys, boys should too. End of story.
This is a great topic. My children are entering the tween years. In my mind, that means that I’d like them to have the tools necessary to successfully explore their own sexuality, in a safe manner. So, your question/suggestion of what age piqued my interest. As my kids aren’t actively masturbating now, but puberty is showing early signs of arrival, I’d like to know what would be appropriate to have for my son or daughters right-of-passage so to speak?
Well, I’m surprised at how confident you feel that your children are not masturbating, Califmom. In general, preteens start masturbating – even if they are not orgasming or ejaculating – somewhere between ages 9 and 11. This is a vast generalization of course, but mostly I’m using it to point out that it can be hard to know whether your children are masturbating or not.
However, preteens are often just figuring their bodies out and may or may not feel comfortable/interested in a masturbation aid. You might want to drop a few subtle questions to see if they’re interested. Or have another trusted aunt/friend drop the questions if you think they might balk if it is you doing the asking. If they don’t take the bait, wait a few years.
My general recommendation on “when” is this: Leave a masturbation aid on their bed when you see them having their first serious relationship OR around the time they start high school. Whichever comes first.
I don’t see what the big issue is about masturbating and using vibrators. I think if people knew how many of us teens use vibrators and dildos they would be surprised. I used my first vibrator when I just turned 14 and now I am almost 16 and still not sexually active. I am not saying that the vibrator has totally stopped me from having sex but in a way it has.
Using one has given me time to learn about my body and what I like and given me the ability to explore my sexuality without having sex with a guy. So a vibrator hasn’t ruined me.
I never really heard of a masturbation sleeve that guys use, but I have heard of that fleshlight thing from other websites where they put their penis in and move it up and down. I honestly don’t know of any guys using one of those but I do know other girls my age who either want a vibrator or have one. It seems kind of like the new thing but that may just be because we are a little older, ideas from The Sex and the City series about the rabbit and some other movies may make it more normal for us to want them.
My mom has her own business and I have helped her with things like who would buy her products and it makes me think about all these people my age who would buy vibrators if they were available to us, we are right at the age where we explore our bodies and some company could probably sell millions and millions of them if they wanted.
I do know that regular stores like drugstores now sell that trojan vibrating touch clitoral massager that you put on your finger that is basically a little vibrator for girls. I plan on getting one just to see how it is but maybe soon they will start selling bigger vibrators.
So I think getting one when you start high school would be a great thing. For some of us we may want one sooner than that and for others maybe later. Enough of me talking, Do you think that me using the vibrator may have delayed me having or wanting to have sex with a guy? So yeah for vibrators!
Masturbation sleeves feel a bit weird. They mostly just add a different texture to the same sort of manual masturbation motion, unlike vibrators, which stimulate in a very different way than stroking with a hand. Some guys love them apparently though, so whatever works for you, I guess.
Teenage boys really could use more exposure and access to sex toys though, if for no other reason, to get over the “threatened by women using sex toys” thing.
The FleshLight is a device sold for a man to use for sexual self-stimulation. Since it is used for self-stimulation I believe it is a masturbation sleeve. The outside of the FleshLight is shaped like a large flashlight. The FleshlLight case provides a durable container for the gel insert within the case. The inside is the manufacturer’s dermal-replicating gel insert sleeve engineered to have resiliency to give and spring back after giving. There is a threaded cap at each end of the case that can be used for storage of the insert. The small cap is intended to remain on the case during self-stimulation. Adjustment of the small cap gives different levels of a kind of “suction” sensation for the person using the insert. The manufacturer offers different gel inserts with different orifices. The manufacturer calls one of the gel shapes the “Lady.” As to whether a FleshLight is appropriate for a young man I suppose if a young man is at the stage where he is desiring self-stimulation frequently and he wants to have a different way to self pleasure than using his own hand then a FleshLight would be an appropriate alternative for that young man. Purchasing a FleshLight involves continued purchase of water-based lubricant. The manufacturer only recommends water-based lubricants. The purchase of a FleshLight would involve a commitment to the expense of recurring purchases of personal lubricant liquids and the symbolic act of purchase of materials intended for intimate activity.
I am 52 and have enjoyed masturbation all my life. My wife and I even use masturbation in our sex life.
Personally, I think teens do not need sex toys. They are young and should be given the opotunity to explore with their own hands, this is how you learn about your body, if you are insistant on providing something, perhaps some good sexual education books and ensure they have a good lubricant, especially for boys. I don’t think a sleve feels any better then a lubricated hand. And a women will learn much more about her self with her own fingures. When they are ready for toys, they will get their own…leave something for them to explore themselves….
[…] telling in and of itself. I write about a lot of controversial issues (like when I suggested teenagers should have vibrators if they want them, oh and here too!). But there are few topics where people are as full of […]
I am surprised at all this talk. ‘mbanks’ you are wrong. I am 13 now and i have explored using my fingers and this hasnt really worked for me. I want a vibrator… but where do i go from here? I can’t ask for one, I can’t buy one, I can’t order one?? So how the heck do you think i can ‘just get one when i am ready?’ Mabey your ideas are correct for others, but not for all!
JJ, Thanks for adding your perspective! Maybe you have an older sibling or cousin or a young aunt you would feel comfortable asking to help you buy a vibrator? If you live in a town with a good local sex-positive you could try calling and seeing if they have an age limit. If you would like to e-mail me (karen.rayne@gmail.com) and tell me what city you live in, I could let you know if there’s a place nearby. Good luck in your search!
I think that a teenager should have a sex toy when they get to the point that they want one, at any age. When I was a young lad and exploring masturbation it wasn’t too long before I began to experiment with whatever I could get my hands on to make the experience easier and more pleasurable. Getting a stroker like a Fleshlight or some other sleeve says that the act of Solo Sex is good, beneficial, and to be freely enjoyed. As a Christian and a retired minister I wish I had realized these things when I was younger, and still ableto help the young people in my church. I cannot, so I developed a website to advocate masturbation as a gift from God. If a sex toy helps someone enjoy that gift more, I say praise God! (Click on my name, Adam.)
I think that the beginning of high school is an ideal point to let teenagers get personal massage devices. I have been masturbating since four or five and living as an only child with a father, its been difficult. Overprotective and extremely controlling, i wasn’t allowed to be “dirty” as he called it. It made me want to go have sex with someone just to see what it was like. I moved out of his house at 17 and with a friends help i got a personal vibrator. Im almost 19 and still a virgin. I have self respect and respect for other individuals. I think that if you want your baby to stay preserved… get them a toy as soon as they enter high school or they may make the same decisions as their peers. Now days, protection isn’t even enough. So educate your children, but let them have a little fun and privacy with a toy.
I am an 11 yr old girl an I prefer to remain anonymous. I don’t under stand how to masturbate but I found a way to get a bit of pleasure. I can’t talk to someone about wanting a vibrator. I have heard about them and I think one would enhance my um, pleasure. I don’t think my parents even know I “masturbate” and I can’t tell anyone. also, I still haven’t worked up the courage to ask my mom to shave my armpits and legs. Any advice?
Anonymous – Find a female adult who you can talk to and be open about your interests and feelings. While this person might not be your mom, and that’s just fine, it is important that you talk with someone. Maybe an aunt or older sister or cousin? Maybe a friend of the family? Also, here is a link to Scarleteen.com, which is a great resource for information about sex and sexuality for teenagers. This page talks specifically about how to masturbate: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/how_do_you_masturbate
Hello everyone, I just started doing some research on the internet about what is the right age for an adolescent girl to have a vibrator. I was wondering if anyone shared my views on young girls having a personal toys…I see here that some do and some don’t. My step-daughter is what I consider a tween and there have been many times that I have caught her masturbating, she is very mature for her age and has already gotten her period. I know from my own experience that you have sexual feelings at a young age but once you get your period and start to ovulate it all changes. I found that around the time of ovulation I would feel like a dog in heat, I had an itch and wanted it scratched, some way to relieve this urge. I couldn’t turn to my mom and talk about these crazy things that were going on with my body and I thought boys were the only way to relieve this feeling…which is not the truth. I know that she is probably having the same “horny” feelings each month and I want to sit down and talk to her about them and show her there are ways to please yourself and having sex early is not the answer and is not needed. I don’t want her to penetrate herself, I just want her to know that she can stimulate her clitoris and achieve orgasm and then these feeling become somewhat in control. I feel that being open and honest with her will help her and save her some trouble down the road. I feel that this is a good thing and wish it was something my mother would have done for me if I could have talked to her about it. I see my daughter becoming frustrated because yes her hands give her a good feeling but the “itch/urge” is not being satisfied. I feel a small little vibrator would be a help and relief for her. I will still research other places but in my eyes I see nothing wrong with it. Girls try so many different ways to satisfy this urge like grinding on pillows, running water over their private parts, and all types of other crazy ways when all we have to do is recognize their feeling and help them instead of making growing up so hard. Does anyone agree??? Thanx Karenrayne…I will check that website you suggested and see how to approach the topic with my stepdaughter and maybe let her review it for instruction and to the young girls who have posted…if you can’t talk to mom find a trusted woman you can talk to and understands you and I truly believe that her help will lead in the direction you need to go in. I hope this helps and I welcome any feedback that you other parents may have.
Ok, I have absolutely no problem buying my son a sleve and I am thinking about getting him one tomorrow. Here is what I am concerned about. If I buy this for him and he tells a friend and it gets out that I bought this for him, can I get in trouble legally? I live in Michigan and the age to buy toys is 18 and he is 15. So my only concern would be the legal repercussions. Any imput on this would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks
Mostly the law is silent on age restrictions regarding *owning* a sex toy, although it does regulate the purchase of them. However, I am unaware of the specifics of Michigan laws on sex toys. If it’s something you’re really concerned about, call a local lawyer.
um hi im 12 and i have um you know masterbated with my fingers because i have a feeling of need.i feel embarased and i cant talk to my mom or anyone about this and i realy want a vibrator and i cant get one i um have um used um markers(with the cap on)and it dosent work.help and remember i cant talk to anybody.
i think that teens should have a vibrator because then they can have pleasure and things. instead of having phisical sex with someone.
is 14 to young ?
Now, this, as a teenager, is a marvelous thing to see.
I went to a catholic school for several years when I was younger, and even without a mention of sexuality, there was still that feeling in the air as you got older.
I remember later, when I explored my sexuality as a preteen, I always felt insanely guilty. My parents never really said anything, but I just instinctively felt bad and dirty, probably because of my religious education.
I love the fact that the world, as a whole, is starting to regard sexuality as a perfectly natural and wonderful. Perhaps it’s taking some parts longer to advance, but still, as a whole, it’s moving forward positively.
I realized less than a year ago that all the stigma, and the negativity that sexuality had was just invented by society, stemming from lack of knowledge, and often from silly archaic religious beliefs (sorry to any religious people who read this. Religion is marvelous to those who believe. I just particularly dislike the way it sometimes demonizes the human body).
It is a happy thing to see that the world, as a whole, is advancing.
Keep it up, you enlightened adults~
-An anonymous 17 year old
So I’m 13 and I’ve been masturbating for quite a while since I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was just exploring my body one time and it felt good, and I’ve been doing it ever since. My friends and I have talked about things like this, I just didn’t tell them that i actually did it. I think it’s ok for a teen to have a viabrator, sooner or later they are eventually going to start using things to pleasure themselves that aren’t so great to use sanitary wise. I really have been wanting to get a viabrator, or the Trojan Mini Viabrator, I just don’t have anyone to get one for me, and I sure can’t order one. I live with my grandmother and I think she already knows that I masturbate because she has caught me one time when I was younger. I just want a way that I masturbate without having to use my fingers all the time and be very quite about it and that won’t take up a lot of drawer space. I do have an older cousin that lives in New York, and I live in New Jersey and she barely comes out here since she started college, but the only thing is that if I ask her for one she will use it against me and say that she will tell my parents that she got me one, and I really don’t want to go through all of that, like I’ve seen the package in a Harmon’s Discount Store, but I don’t think Im of age to buy one, please help on how i can buy one, or what store that will allow me to buy one. HELP!!
IIRS, I’m not sure what the laws about selling sex toys to minors is in New Jersey. However, Amazon.com does sell them. So if you have an amazon.com gift card or a bank account and a debit card, you can buy one that way.
All of that said, for some teenagers, it’s just not worth the pain and suffering that could come with their parents (or grandparents or cousins) finding a vibrator. Once you hit 18, and you’re able live on your own, patronize stores that sell sex toys, and have substantially more privacy, you’ll be ready to delve into the sex toy world without fear of angry family reactions. Many young people make it through 5 years of lower-grade masturbation, and if you decide to go that way, I’m sure you can too.
Hi embaressed. If you can find one to trust, I’d really recommend you talk with an adult. Maybe an aunt or a cool older cousin? Right now, sticking with what you’ve got (your fingers) is probably best. But whatever you do, using things that aren’t really meant for masturbation (like markers) can be a pretty bad idea. (Even if the top on, the top might come off, etc.)
If you do decide to try and talk with someone older, maybe start with topics that aren’t as big as masturbation – maybe start with a movie or a song that you like that has something about teenage sex in it. Work your way up to the topic of a vibrator slowly to see if you think they’ll freak out or something.
Good luck!
You make a really good point, Shannon. 14 certainly isn’t too young for someone to explore their own body by themselves. Whether a teenager wants a vibrator is really a personal question – some do, some don’t. As for whether it’s legally too young or not – I don’t know where you live or what the laws might be there, so I can’t really help there.
It might help if you could find an adult who you trust and like who you could have an open conversation about it with. Good luck!
P.S. I took your last name off of your reply – it’s often best when leaving comments online to use less identifying information!
Hello, I am a 15 year old female, and I have been masturbating since I was 8 years old, and I currently masturbate daily, sometimes more than once a day if I feel like it. I would like to say that I think it would be good for parents to be open with their children about sex and they should put self pleasure into a positive light. I don’t see a problem with teens using masturbatory aids. I am actually going to order one when I can find my debit card, (I lost it somewhere in my messy room 😛 ) Most teens I know do not have the privilege or ability to get their own because of age restrictions so they can’t buy one in-store, and they do not have their own bank accounts where they can order stuff online. All of my friends are guys, and one of friends asked me, if they gave me the money, to order a masturbation sleeve for them and I see no problem with it.
well, im only 14 and i am always wondering about vibrators and stuff like that. i am completely terrified to ask my mom about that kind of thing. she told me once that she never used one. therefore, i think she would be apposed to me ever using one. especially at my age… i dont want to go behind her back and somehow get one. or just wait untill im old enough.
Great topic,
My 11 year old daughter got her period this summer. I’m putting together a coming of age basket for her. Pads, tampons, chocolate, chicken soup for teens book a little egg vibrator. I wish I was more on the ball and had this ready for her the following month. I will also include sanitizer and explain the importance of keeping her go toy clean.
Finally, there is someone who is advocating a logical attitude about sex and masturbating with tweens and teens. I am a single mom of a teen daughter. I have enjoyed my body and masturbate daily and have so since I was 9 or 10. As my daughter approached this age, I began to be more open about things with her. I also openly dealt with my period and what was happening to me so she would be able to anticipate this when it happened to her. Masturbating is a great way to help with cramps for instance.
As she got into puberty, I asked her if she was doing what I had mentioned to her before. After the initial embarassment, our conversation drifted on to where she told me that, yes, she indeed liked to masturbate and how. That evening, I gave her a vibrating toy and talked to her about its use. I even mentioned that I had one and used it often. Since then, we both have been very happy about ourselves and there is no shame in taking time out to enjoy yourself. Allowing her this escape has been a positive experience for her as there is no pressure to want to go do something with a boy she would regret later on, and when at home, Sara doesn’t have the moodiness and extreems that some girls seem to have emotionally. This is part of a repressive attitude that should be done away with.
Likewise, the same could be said about boys too. My nephew is also an only son in a family of 2 fathers. My brother, while happy and out, is scared to death to talk about sex with his son. I am the one he confides in when it comes to this subject and he knows much more than my brother would care to know!! I got for him a Fleshlight for his 15th birthday. He asked for something he could use besides his hands and this was the obvious choice. I did check with my brother first, however. My nephew doesn’t have to worry about embarassment and things. If his door is closed, that means he is just “busy” and will be done shortly. Just like when his dad and partner head down to their room for some quality time for themselves. There shouldn’t be any shame in someone under the age of 18 needing the same time for their own needs either. All questions, if asked, should be handled in an age appropriate manner and I also believe that a little nudity now and again is a great way to grow up. Nothing wrong with them seeing what adults look like nude. If tweens and teens knew this at an earlier age, perhaps the big rush to defoliate and never have pubic hair wouldn’t be such the rage. I personally think that what kids do to themselves in this area is wrong. You are alterating your body and it’s ability to protect itself. A more “sex positive” upbringing would help in this areana.
Hello! I’m an 18 year old teenager, and a virgin. I have been masturbating since I was around elementary school age. How much I actually masturbated increased as I got older. In the beginning, the Clitoral stimulation worked just fine for me. My hands were all I needed for just beginning to experience and explore my body. However, for a year or so now I have been interested in getting a vibrator. Just using the hands doesn’t cut it much anymore, and a tool seems like a good idea. Today became my breaking point and I dished out some cash to buy a vibrator online. It makes me nervous, however I do very much believe I am ready for it.
I think a vibrator (maybe those pen shaped basic ones) in the high school years might have helped with sexual frustration. However, I think a girl (or boy) should get a vibrator (or sleeve) when she (or he) is interested. I mean, why not? It’ll only help them explore more and feel better.
Admittedly I might have felt a little weird if my mother handed me one. And I would have never asked my mother to buy me one, much less any other family member. I’m sure other younger girls would feel the same way. Therefore I believe these should be available to them at easy access places in very discrete packaging.
Hi… I’m 14 and have been masturbating since I was around eight. I usually do it every night, and occasionally on weekend mornings. I have only ever been completely open about this with one friend, and it has made me feel better about my self-esteem and confidence in being a young woman already… I live with an older sister and my step-mother at my house. I still see my mom, but not too often because she is out-of-state. I feel awkward talking about sex with my step-mom, but it’s fine with my sister… I am pretty open with her, and was thinking about asking her to go to Spencers and get a vibrator or somrthing with me… I’m usually pretty quiet about this stuff, but I feel that I would enjoy masturbation more with it…
IM 12 and made the mistake of looking a porn just about a month ago but then found out that a lot of kids do it to since porn sites are getting so accsesible and honestly it made me want to explore my body which i was happy about since i geuss that is something i really should know all about considering it with me every where i go. But now ive gotten kinda intrested in mastrubating and would like a vibrator but again im only 12 and cant go by it my self and i would like to ask my dad because my mom isnt very nice so my dad is the one that takes me bra and tampon shopping but i think asking for a vibrator might be asking to much and i dont really want him to know about the porn stage of my life so what should i do?
oh and yes i know about using the fingers and ive tried that and that doesnt feel that good to me
I am a 38 year old father of (3) kids, oldest boy 19, middle boy 16, and daughter 12.9 (tween); all of them reacted different to puberty, but survived without major issues. My boys, I just had to get on them about hygiene and not to use t-shirts as cum rags. I kept it real and somewhat funny, bought extra condoms and left them in my nightstand for them to steal. Whenever we would try to discuss sexuality openly one-on-one or as a family they would all run and hide or react as if they already knew it from school, and stopped talking about it… With the addition of the internet and easy access porn, I would say my 16 year old is very healthy, I have told him to stop looking at those pages but boys will be boys, so I warn them and then look the other way. He currently has no interest in dating, imagine that. However, my 12.9 year old daughter was a total spastic case; I have known that she has been masturbating since 9/10. I told only her mother (not her) and Mom felt it was time for a teen (self-help) book. Mom told me when she got her period and all hell broke loose, she cried for days about her body changing and that she didn’t want to grow up or anybody to know. Things calmed down life moved forward. Which leads me to this discussion, I noticed the other day Mom’s toy drawer was slightly opened, upon investigation and inventory of known items a small silver bullet (vibrator) was missing. I asked Mom (wife) to remove/relocate the heavy equipment and I recently replaced/purchased smaller safer age appropriate toys (egg, butterfly, and waterproof “AAA” bullet), reason for the “AAA” is she doesn’t have to come to us for batteries. All of it will remain in our drawer, but in reality it is all hers. Mom will keep them clean and loaded with fresh batteries; until such time we catcher red handed or she’s comfortable talking with us openly. Then we will cross that bridge and allow her to keep the items since she used them. Wink, wink… PS – The items were ordered online from Adam and Eve (Respectable) and should arrive this Friday (UPS – Discretely). Don’t really care about Nevada Law, 18 is legal for the Bunny Ranch, so I say Parent’s can overrule State Law when common sense and experience are in the best interest, Lord knows our politicians’ are retarded.
Well done, Normal Parent! All around, I’m very impressed and delighted to hear about your openness and willingness for your kids to move through this time with access to knowledge and support but without a lot of parental pressure.
Normal parent wow you and your wife are awesome parents! im 19, and yes i can tell you teens (most of them) will NOT talk to their parents about this stuff, so for you to basically give her stuff like that.. kudos to you! truly responsible..
lol and i TOTALLY agree about the politician thing! 🙂
Im 15 and my parents dont understand. Im not ready to have sex yet but my harmones are raging. I took one of their vibrators once and they destroyed my cell phone when they found out. I feel like i cant tell them that i want my own, im afraid they will think im crazy. Im the oldest i have a 13 year old brother and sister (twins) and they over react about my actions.. Any ideas?
Little missy, First I want to commend you for recognizing that even though your hormones are raging, you’re not ready for sex. I am so sorry that your parents don’t understand. It sounds like telling them you would like your own vibrator wouldn’t go over well. Do you have an older cousin or aunt or parent of one of your friends who you could confide in? The best way to get your own vibrator is through Amazon. If you don’t have a credit or debit card, you can ask for a gift certificate and order it yourself. You just need to be sure and grab the delivery before your parents do. Good luck!
Karenrayne, so i dont know if id be able to get it first or not, so i’ll have to try, thanks!
I talked to my mom and she wanted reasons. So i gave her a few and her responce was “all my friends that gave their children those, their children are sluts..” i know many people with them and they havent even kissed a guy. I dont get her reasons. She doesnt think it’s age appropriate and says ” i’d rather go and get you birth control” which she is totally against. I cant go to my dad because he didnt want daughters he wanted sons and he would just yell. But my mom said she didnt even want me to use my fingers that its slutty and dirty 🙁
Little missy, why don’t you ask your friends with vibrators how they got theirs? I don’t really understand your mom’s reasoning. All humans have sexual needs – she must understand this to a degree because she has a vibrator – and learning about our bodies and sexual pleasure is something we do naturally. I hope you find your vibrator – if not now, then in a female-friendly sex shop on the day you turn 17!