How I Learned How to Get It On (or not…)

The story of how we learn about sex and our bodies varies dramatically by culture and by era. There are so many places to learn about sex and bodies: parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, school teachers, churches, movies, music, advertisements, porn, and the Internet. And, of course, many more. The messages we get also span a wide range: are we sexual beings, is sexuality essentially positive or negative, is sexuality strength or weakness, are bodies inherently beautiful or do they need to be made beautiful?

Where did you learn about sex and your body? What message do you think you were supposed to get? What message did you take away?

To honor these differences and paths, I am gathering people’s stories of how they learned answers to these questions and more. I hope to gather stories from different cultures, genders, orientations, religions, and ages around the world. Each and every story is special and has something interesting to say, so I hope you’ll consider telling me yours. You may remain anonymous.

You can approach telling your story in whatever way works best for you. I can send you a list of questions to answer if you want to work in an interview format. Here are a variety of other ways you can contribute your story:

  • personal essay
  • painting
  • line drawing
  • photograph
  • song
  • poem

As long as it’s true and it tells the story of your education about your body and how it relates to other itself and other people’s bodies, I hope you’ll submit it.

I may publish some of what I receive on this blog, but these stories will primarily be made into a book.

Please pass on this request to anyone you feel might be interested in engaging with the topic.

About Karen Rayne

Dr. Karen Rayne has been supporting parents and families since 2007 when she received her PhD in Educational Psychology. A specialist in child wellbeing, Dr. Rayne has spent much of her career supporting parents, teachers, and other adults who care for children and teenagers.


  1. I’d be happy to cover your white middle class liberal married heterosexual female twentysomething section…. 🙂

  2. Go for it, Alice! Someone has to cover that section for me!

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