Comments on: Immaturity as an excuse, or no? http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/ Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:49:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Cadbury http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/comment-page-1/#comment-2929 Cadbury Fri, 02 May 2008 15:23:57 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/#comment-2929 i think that BF should have gotten a life. i think that BF was in some kind of weird power game with regard to you in his relationship to his friend NB. recognising that this is not one of those things that *weigh upon you* every day, i think that to hold your 14 year old self to account for such a moment is ultimately self destructive. i say this as a person who still has the same flashes of guilt in regard to events dating back to the age of 3. my girlfriend has a philosophy that works well about situations like this: you [generic you] made your decision based on the factors in your life at that time. you made the best decision you could based upon your motivations and desires and capabilities of the time. leave it where it is and move on so, yes - immaturity is an answer. no - people cannot really demand deeper answers later in life - especially adult answers for a child's actions. i think that BF should have gotten a life. i think that BF was in some kind of weird power game with regard to you in his relationship to his friend NB.

recognising that this is not one of those things that *weigh upon you* every day, i think that to hold your 14 year old self to account for such a moment is ultimately self destructive. i say this as a person who still has the same flashes of guilt in regard to events dating back to the age of 3.

my girlfriend has a philosophy that works well about situations like this: you [generic you] made your decision based on the factors in your life at that time. you made the best decision you could based upon your motivations and desires and capabilities of the time. leave it where it is and move on

so, yes - immaturity is an answer.

no - people cannot really demand deeper answers later in life - especially adult answers for a child’s actions.

]]> By: Kristal http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/comment-page-1/#comment-2928 Kristal Fri, 02 May 2008 14:58:54 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/#comment-2928 I think that as a teenager, if called upon to answer "Why?", I would have shrugged, been embarrassed, and totally avoided the question. When asked now about my teenage decisions and wrongs, I feel it's a great opportunity to reflect and learn. But at the time I would have been embarrassed and mortified. I still feel bad about the time my really good guy friend asked me out in seventh grade. I flat out told him "No." No explanation, nothing. I didn't like him like that. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I can explain it now. But now I feel like a jerk for breaking his heart and not telling him what I was feeling or thinking. *sigh* The actions of a teenager. I think that as a teenager, if called upon to answer “Why?”, I would have shrugged, been embarrassed, and totally avoided the question. When asked now about my teenage decisions and wrongs, I feel it’s a great opportunity to reflect and learn. But at the time I would have been embarrassed and mortified.

I still feel bad about the time my really good guy friend asked me out in seventh grade. I flat out told him “No.” No explanation, nothing. I didn’t like him like that. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I can explain it now. But now I feel like a jerk for breaking his heart and not telling him what I was feeling or thinking. *sigh* The actions of a teenager.

]]> By: Alice http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/comment-page-1/#comment-2927 Alice Fri, 02 May 2008 12:38:58 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/2008/05/02/immaturity-as-an-excuse-or-no/#comment-2927 The mistakes I made were caused by <i>having absolutely no flipping clue what the hell I was doing</i>, but it still makes me feel better to admit that I made mistakes and that I regret what I did, than to try to sweep it under the rug. The mistakes I made were caused by having absolutely no flipping clue what the hell I was doing, but it still makes me feel better to admit that I made mistakes and that I regret what I did, than to try to sweep it under the rug.

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