Adolescent Sexuality by Dr. Karen Rayne

I love this comic strip!

I recently spoke with a group of parents of second graders. They asked me to come and talk about how/when to talk with their children about sex and the myriad issues associated with it. They also wanted some assistance to help them come together into a cohesive group for the many years of parenting children in the same class (the school is a small private one, and many of these parents expect their children to be together through high school).

Many of the parents have contacted me since the meeting, saying how much they feel they gained from the discussion. Points I have heard from these parents include:

• feeling more connected to the other parents
• feeling more confident in raising the subject of sex with their children
• having a better understanding of an appropriate trajectory of learning about sexuality
• having increased understanding of how current teenagers are tending to engage sexually

However, the most interesting point came from one mother who has talked with me about adolescent sexuality before. She reiterated, in one way or another, all of the comments above, that other parents have said as well. But then she went on to say that through our conversations she has come to understand her own path of learning about sexuality and her own sexual history in more clarity, and she thanked me specifically for helping her along that path.

As parents raise their children, they often come face-to-face with their own paths. This is particularly true of issues of sex and sexuality, because these topics are so personal and often not discussed openly. What this means is that when sexuality does start to become openly discussed - perhaps for the first time when a parent is explaining and teaching their child - strong memories and emotions can surface.

Traversing these pathways can be difficult. If you feel you or your group of parent friends would benefit from me coming and talking you through some of these steps, please do not hesitate to contact me.   I talk with parents of children of all ages, and I would love to support your process of increasing sexuality education in the home.  I can meet with you in person or by phone.

I am about to drive to the Houston airport.  I am going there for personal reasons, but will now make the drive thinking about one 14-year-old Houston girl who was at the airport yesterday.

The AP reports that this young teenager gave birth to a stillborn fetus in an airplane bathroom.  She put the fetus in the trash bin and returned to her seat.  A stewardess found the fetus after landing when she was cleaning the bathroom.  The teenager did not know she was pregnant.  I’m sure she had no idea what to do when she went to the bathroom with cramping and then realized what was happening.

There were many places along this girl’s way when some informational and emotional sexuality education could have been highly effective.

This world of ours is so full of pain and sorrow.  My heart goes out to this child, who did not feel she had the ability or the resources to reach out for support in her moment of such extreme need.

(Thanks to Rev. Debra Haffner for the link.) 

Sexually healthy, happy, and knowledgeable adults.

Now all you have to do is support kids and teens to get there.

(Written by Guest Blogger JustAnotherTeen.)

Let’s face it, my girlfriend and I are far from the poster children of safer sex practices. Sure, we are not that bad, and try to use two forms of birth control, but no one could argue that they are the safest ways to go. When we first had sex, she had already been on the pill for awhile to regulate her cycle after she lost an ovary. That was at least one line of defense, but I was adamant that we have two. So at first we used condoms. But, unfortunately, no matter how thin the condom, there is still a difference. Sure, not enough that it should have stopped us. So instead we switched to pulling out as the second line of contraception. And yes, I know, horrible is it not? Pre-cum has semen, it is hard to pull out in time, sometimes you lose the will to, etc etc. But it was just the second line of defense so I did not worry about it too much. Fortunately, we got lucky and never even had a scare. Now she is off the pill for a bit and we have started using condoms with spermicide. Not as much protection as I would like, but definitely better than just pulling out! And lets face it, condoms are some of the most accessible and most effective forms of birth control.

That said, I don’t think teens know enough about them. Can they become less effective if kept in your pocket or a warm car? Do the cheap ones in bathrooms work as well as any off the shelf in your local drug store? Honestly I do not know for certain the answers to these two questions (if I had to guess I would be pretty confident saying yes and no, respectively.) But some teenagers know far less than I do about them, and that is just sad. Furthermore, some teens probably don’t have access to condoms, and that is even more sad.

What forms of birth control do you/have you used in the past? Had any failures or scares? Comment back and let me know. Oh yeah, and feel free to berate my bad second line of defense!