Some time ago a teenager at the church where I worked approached me and asked if I would take her shopping for a vibrator. (Although she didn’t know the word for a vibrator, she alluded to it with a bright red face…) I thought it was great, and so took her (with her mother’s explicit permission and money) to a local store to buy a vibrator. These stores are now legal in the state of Texas. That is to say, in addition to being able to sell educational aids, they are also able to sell sex toys.
I’m sure some of you are somewhat horrified at my openness in helping a teenager obtain a vibrator. However, with her mother’s permission, I think it turned out positive for everyone. This young woman was particularly sexual. She wanted desperately to engage more sexually. But she didn’t have a boyfriend, she didn’t have any prospects for one, and she acknowledged that even if she did, she wasn’t sure she was emotionally ready for sex.
So what’s a sexually aroused teenager to do? Well, masturbate. And I am all for encouraging safe masturbation among teenagers. It keeps them off the streets and off each other.
However, it can be hard for a teenager to obtain a vibrator. Teenagers generally feel far too awkward to ask mom or dad, and who else can a teenager ask, really? There just aren’t many adult/teen relationships where sex is talked about enough and openly enough to encourage a teenager to reach out and ask for help at obtaining sexual satisfaction. (This, of course, leads to lots of household items being used for masturbation instead, including the old standbys, the hairbrush handle and the cucumber.)
So what to do? Well, broach the subject. Let your teenager know that you’re happy to help them buy (or help them find someone else to help them buy) a vibrator, a dildo, lube, whatever. This offer will not turn your child into a sexual deviant, it will help them become sexually happy so they don’t feel the need to go searching for sexual happiness.
If you need more convincing, come back for tomorrow’s post…