Vibrators and dildos
Some time ago a teenager at the church where I worked approached me and asked if I would take her shopping for a vibrator. (Although she didn’t know the word for a vibrator, she alluded to it with a bright red face…) I thought it was great, and so took her (with her mother’s explicit permission and money) to a local store to buy a vibrator. These stores are now legal in the state of Texas. That is to say, in addition to being able to sell educational aids, they are also able to sell sex toys.
I’m sure some of you are somewhat horrified at my openness in helping a teenager obtain a vibrator. However, with her mother’s permission, I think it turned out positive for everyone. This young woman was particularly sexual. She wanted desperately to engage more sexually. But she didn’t have a boyfriend, she didn’t have any prospects for one, and she acknowledged that even if she did, she wasn’t sure she was emotionally ready for sex.
So what’s a sexually aroused teenager to do? Well, masturbate. And I am all for encouraging safe masturbation among teenagers. It keeps them off the streets and off each other.
However, it can be hard for a teenager to obtain a vibrator. Teenagers generally feel far too awkward to ask mom or dad, and who else can a teenager ask, really? There just aren’t many adult/teen relationships where sex is talked about enough and openly enough to encourage a teenager to reach out and ask for help at obtaining sexual satisfaction. (This, of course, leads to lots of household items being used for masturbation instead, including the old standbys, the hairbrush handle and the cucumber.)
So what to do? Well, broach the subject. Let your teenager know that you’re happy to help them buy (or help them find someone else to help them buy) a vibrator, a dildo, lube, whatever. This offer will not turn your child into a sexual deviant, it will help them become sexually happy so they don’t feel the need to go searching for sexual happiness.
If you need more convincing, come back for tomorrow’s post…
February 28th, 2008 at 7:28 am
Awesome.
Masturbation is awesome, open teen-adult conversations about sex are awesome, encouraging teens to express themselves sexually while not doing anything they aren’t emotionally ready for is awesome.
Just awesome all around. I don’t need convincing!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Ditto what Alice said. I’m sure most parents accept the fact that their teens masturbate but go into shock when a sex aid is mentioned. I’m all for providing anything to my girls that will enhance their pleasure. I’ve never seen it as a big deal. Great post as always.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:29 am
That’s a smart teenager.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:09 am
Everything’s been said here about your post! Awesome. Of the highest order. Bravo to your teen friend and to you! Wow! Masturbation is about the safest sex a girl can have. I wish we did more to promote it (although a recent read of a sexuality educator who went up against Bill O’Reilly on TV and couldn’t even get him to accept that teaching grade school kids the proper names for human genitals leaves me a bit hopeless about that).
I’m encouraged by Barrack Obama’s stand on LGBT rights and sexuality education and hope, when next January rolls around, we’ll be seeing the awful policies from the Bush administration laid to rest.
March 19th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I wish I would have had a dildo when I was a teenager, or someone to ask to get me one. Or, heck, even the knowledge of one. I put all sorts of relatively safe and unsafe things in my vagina to try to get off. (In the end, I found the end of one of those expanding lightsabers was the best. It was long, hard, easy to clean, and could be used in the bathtub.)
I remember my mother finding the round hairbrush I used, the one with the lower bristles pulled out. She said “If you’re using that for what I think you’re using that for, that’s just sick!” I had no way of saying or even the knowledge to say “Yeah, well, if I had a dildo, I wouldn’t have to go looking for things to stick in my cooter!”
March 24th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I think it is extremely important for young ladies to have access to information about masturbation and to vibrators. I spent my high school years feeling very unsatisfied. There should be much more promotion of masturbation, as an alternative to sex before marriage.