Yesterday we talked about what bits of information are important for a girl to know about masturbation. Today we’ll be talk about what bits of information are important for a parent or other trusted adult to tell a boy about masturbation. Some things are the same, and some are different, but mostly there are just more things that are helpful for boys to know.
- Masturbation is a private activity. (This is often more relevant for younger children and toddlers to learn.)
- Masturbation normal and healthy.
- Almost all boys masturbate, and particularly as teenagers, with some regularity.
- Lotion is a good idea, get yourself some or ask a parent to get you some.
- What to do with the socks or t-shirts or whatever after using them to clean up. Notably, not flush them down the toilet or throw them away.
- His imagination is his best friend. Porn will only make it more difficult to transition to actual sex with a real girl. And nobody wants that.
- Masturbation is a great, completely safe way to have lots of fun with a girlfriend or boyfriend (thanks for the reminder, Ruth!)
- and, of course you should mention that…
- Masturbation is fun!
Someone recently asked me if this conversation should include a discussion of moderation. Well, I don’t think so. Unless there is some indication that a boy is spending all of his time masturbating, in which case of course it’s warranted.
This information needs to come from somewhere. If it’s not going to come from a parent, the parent needs to make sure someone else steps up to the plate and winds his or her way through that conversation. Generally, boys will need some of this information earlier than other parts of it, so it really needs to come as part of an on-going discussion about sex and sexuality.
But what do you think? What else do you think is important for boys to learn about masturbation?