My point was that porn needs to be presented in the same light to girls as it does to guys with respect to being an acceptable avenue for masturbatory fantasy. You seem to think (I gather, correct me if I am misinterpreting) that it only needs to be presented to males in this fashion. My point was that a great many females use porn to assist in masturbation, and they should be told that that is perfectly acceptable to do this, just as it is with the guys (as you advocate). Many teen girls that I’ve spoken with think they are freaks because they use porn and, like many other aspects of young female sexuality, they sense from society, parents, etc., that is not acceptable or “bad” to do so. It should not be presented any differently to them than it is the guys with respect to these types of uses.

I definitely agree with you (vehemently, in fact) on the points you made about the conversations that need to be had with boys and girls about porn, though.

However, Caitlain I don’t really think anyone needs porn presented to them. Everyone sees porn, generally before they’re a teenager.

Teenage boys do need to have conversations about pornography and the overt use of power and control. They need to understand that while there are some women who enjoy these things, there are many who do not. And it’s unacceptable to incorporate them into sex without first talking about it with their partner.

Teenage girls need to have conversations about porn to help them understand that they do not need to try and be the women in those pictures.

But what I was really talking about in these posts was more about what conversations need to be had about personal masturbation practices, not so much about general societal gender issues.

I agree with C4bl3Fl4m3 in that it should be mentioned as a viable option for girls as well as guys.

It is inappropriate to talk with teenagers about everything and anything they could find sexy or appealing. Specifics are just often unnecessary. Rather, a general discussion about respect in sexuality will often cover these topics for a girl.

I think telling all youths that it’s natural and normal to want to use erotic media is a good thing, but to warn them that most erotic media is made with an unreachable supposed perfection in mind and that real sex is with real people and can be funny and awkward and certainly less than “perfect”… and that’s what makes it just right.

I’ve found that good erotic writing is usually less commodifying and more “real life” friendly than images. (Highly recommended, especially for daughters, is the Herotica series, especially the out of print book #1. Alison Tyler is also a good erotic writer/editor. And anything edited by Susie Bright or Greta Christina will be good. Pat(trick) Califia is also an excellent writer/editor, but hir stuff leans much harder and much more towards S&M.)