Comments on: Top Ten Things To Do Before You Have Sex: a list for teenagers

By: Adolescent Sexuality by Dr. Karen Rayne » Top Ten Things To Do Before You Have Sex: A list for teenagers

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:15:00 +0000

[...] Ten Things To Do Before You Have Sex: A list for teenagers This is actually an old post. But I have had many requests for it again recently, and so thought it was worth bumping back up [...]

By: Dorian

Dorian — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 05:44:00 +0000

I didn’t have an orgasm until many years after I started having sex, because I didn’t know what one was, I didn’t know how to get to one, I didn’t have “physical pleasure” from sex - I had physical touch which I had no idea how much I needed, craved, just to give me the sense that I was acceptable as a human being. So, I was pretty much at the mercy of any boy who wanted to fuck. The idea that I ’should’ explore my own body and what it liked would have been revolutionary to me, I’m not even sure I could have heard it or believed it.

By: Karen Rayne, Ph.D.

Karen Rayne, Ph.D. — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 17:50:00 +0000

I think you’re missing the point, CableFlame. Yes, everything you said is true. But your experience was pretty far outside the norm. Many girls start having sex and just don’t get any physical pleasure out of it. They don’t really understand what physical pleasure is to them in their bodies. And that’s what #1 addresses. I do feel strongly that girls should know what physical pleasure is before having sex.

By: Alice

Alice — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:37:00 +0000

Have your best friend’s blessing.

*applauds*

By: C4bl3Fl4m3

C4bl3Fl4m3 — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:36:00 +0000

I’d have to disagree with #1. I didn’t have an orgasm until many years after I started having sex, but I still had a grand time having sex. In fact, in some ways, I had a better time, because I was just enjoying the sensations… I wasn’t worrying about trying to achieve orgasm.

Also, many women can’t masturbate to orgasm w/o a vibrator… some can’t unless it’s a really strong vibrator (like the Hitachi Magic Wand). However, obtaining a vibrator can be very difficult for teens.

Orgasm isn’t the be all and end all of enjoyment of sex and telling teens that they shouldn’t have sex until they’ve had an orgasm sets not only an unreasonable prerequisite, but also a message that orgasm is the most important part of sexual pleasure.