A study on teenagers’ understanding of virginity was published in the August 2007 issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health. The study looked particularly at adolescents’ understanding of virginity pledges and vague sexual education terminology. RH Reality Check distilled the results into two lists:
Adolescents believe virginity is maintained after participating in:
- genital touching (83.5%)
- oral sex (70.6%)
- anal sex (16.1%)
- vaginal intercourse (5.8%)
Adolescents believe abstinence is maintained after participating in:
- genital touching (44.2%)
- oral sex (33.4%)
- anal sex (14.3%)
- vaginal intercourse (11.9%)
So why the difference between the percentages on these two lists? And even more importantly, why is it that more than 10% of teenagers think that sexual abstinence is maintained after vaginal intercourse? Ah, the nuances of such heavily-leaden words as “virgin” and “abstinent.” Both of these words have been rendered close to meaningless by the extreme rhetoric associated with both. I say pitch them both – their meanings are unsalvageable. Let’s guide our vocabulary to more descriptive and useful words, like sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, and groping. Everyone knows what these words mean, and so they continue to serve their purpose in dialogue effectively.
I wonder what the figures for adults of different ages would be.
I was talking with a friend about these numbers (you’d talked about them on the radio show, but I hadn’t read the post yet) and she asked me for my definition of virginity. We struggled together with that and I love coming back and reading your suggestion to toss the word out. Abstinence related to sexuality I tossed out a long time ago – no one can be abstinent from being sexual being – we are born sexual beings and we die sexual beings whether we die at 1 year old or 101 years old (like my grandmother who had just begun a new relationship!). We can choose to engage or not engage in particular behaviors, but sexual we are no matter what our behaviors. I remember when I was a teenager, some of my friends enjoyed telling people they were still virgins and what they meant was they had not had penetration in their ears yet. Relating sexual discussions to specific practices is helpful to clarity in the discussion – thanks for the suggestion.
I remember when I was a teenager, some of my friends enjoyed telling people they were still virgins and what they meant was they had not had penetration in their ears yet.
Did your friends grow up to be writers for Family Guy?!
[…] that teenagers are not claiming to be virgins when they have had oral but not anal sex. There is other research that does go into a bit more detail of teenagers’ understandings of the meanings of these […]