Comments on: The connections between love and sex http://karenrayne.com/2007/07/11/the-connections-between-love-and-sex/ Thu, 17 May 2012 22:46:12 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Alice http://karenrayne.com/2007/07/11/the-connections-between-love-and-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-143 Alice Wed, 11 Jul 2007 23:05:00 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=101#comment-143 Remember: Children are not pizza pies. We can raise them a certain way, but we don't control how they "turn out."<br/><br/>I <i>do</i> cringe at the thought of 15-year-olds having sex because they think they're in love when they truly haven't the vaguest notion of what that means, and getting in trouble.... Remember: Children are not pizza pies. We can raise them a certain way, but we don’t control how they “turn out.”

I do cringe at the thought of 15-year-olds having sex because they think they’re in love when they truly haven’t the vaguest notion of what that means, and getting in trouble….

]]> By: Ruth http://karenrayne.com/2007/07/11/the-connections-between-love-and-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-141 Ruth Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:39:00 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=101#comment-141 Karen, these are wonderful quotes. The first eludes to the quality of love described in M. Scott Pecks' "The Road Less Traveled." Love is time and attention, not a feeling. Love is the action we take towards those we love, concerned for their well-being rather than our own.<br/><br/>The second quote eludes to what I believe is the "wrongness" of monogamy and our contemporary understanding of it. <br/><br/>These quotes harken back to the 60s and 70s, when many were trying to turn the world upside down to escape from the narrow, restrictive 50s projection of the nuclear family "bliss." <br/><br/>An adolescent who holds to Howard's views might understand that love is not a requirement to engage in sexual activity with someone. If there is no need for love and commitment, there might be much more honesty in relationships. Very important, obviously, when you are consciously engaging in sex without love (in a positive way, respecting one's partner, respecting oneself), protection against pregnancy and STDs is crucial.<br/><br/>If adolescents knew the difference between love and infatuation – oh, if only most adults knew the difference between love and infatuation – hearts wouldn’t be broken nearly as often, families wouldn’t be split up nearly as often. We would live in a saner world. Karen, these are wonderful quotes. The first eludes to the quality of love described in M. Scott Pecks’ “The Road Less Traveled.” Love is time and attention, not a feeling. Love is the action we take towards those we love, concerned for their well-being rather than our own.

The second quote eludes to what I believe is the “wrongness” of monogamy and our contemporary understanding of it.

These quotes harken back to the 60s and 70s, when many were trying to turn the world upside down to escape from the narrow, restrictive 50s projection of the nuclear family “bliss.”

An adolescent who holds to Howard’s views might understand that love is not a requirement to engage in sexual activity with someone. If there is no need for love and commitment, there might be much more honesty in relationships. Very important, obviously, when you are consciously engaging in sex without love (in a positive way, respecting one’s partner, respecting oneself), protection against pregnancy and STDs is crucial.

If adolescents knew the difference between love and infatuation – oh, if only most adults knew the difference between love and infatuation – hearts wouldn’t be broken nearly as often, families wouldn’t be split up nearly as often. We would live in a saner world.

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