Putting a condom on a penis correctly is not a terribly difficult thing to do, compared to the many difficult things people do in this world. But it is one of the only potentially life-saving activities that most people are never explicitly instructed in. Even more oddly, many of the young people who are explicitly instructed in proper condom application practice with a banana rather than a penis or a reasonable facsimile. This is absurd.

Texas law states that selling sex toys is illegal. Okay, fair enough. Stores such as Austin’s Forbidden Fruit, however, may sell educational aids. I will be the last one to suggest that anyone might use one of these educational aids for a sex toy, but I will be the first in line to suggest that they should actually be put to the purpose they are being sold for. That is to say, as educational aids. Let’s gather our gumption and actually teach teenagers how to put a condom on a penis rather than on a banana. Last time I checked, AIDS has not yet mutated to bananas, nor do they have the right genes to get a young woman pregnant.