About fifteen years ago Mira Kirshenbaum and Charles Foster wrote a fantastic book on parents and teenagers called Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach. It encourages a delightful approach to parenting teenagers: build a good relationship with them. Make your parenting choices based, at least in part, on what kind of relationship those choices will foster with your teenagers.
Mira now has a blog which focuses on all kinds of relationships, not just the parenting, but continues her very human and very real approach to relationships. Check it out.