Gay vs. Straight

It seems that many people I talk with, from teenagers to adults, have at some point in their lives questioned whether they were gay. Different levels of analysis were needed before they had a solid answer to the question – one person just needed one date and another identified as bisexual for a number of years and dated a series of same-gendered people before coming to any kind of conclusion.

The point is, many young people will wonder about their sexuality and experiment to see who they really want to be with romantically, to see who really turns them on. And as long as everyone is safe and honest, that’s a good thing. It is certainly better than deciding you have to do that exploration after you’re married and have kids within a heterosexual relationship.

About Karen Rayne

Dr. Karen Rayne has been supporting parents and families since 2007 when she received her PhD in Educational Psychology. A specialist in child wellbeing, Dr. Rayne has spent much of her career supporting parents, teachers, and other adults who care for children and teenagers.


  1. I don’t think there is an end to the question though. I agree that adolescent’s recognizing this is a valid question for them to ponder and perhaps explore can be a good thing, if done in a safe, healthy manner. But, people throughout the life spectrum are likely to find times when they need to address the issue again. And that could easily mean it would be addressed after children have been born in the context of a heterosexual committed relationship.

  2. I’m glad I got to fully address the issue in college, because I am much too hard-headed to break my marriage vows.

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