Comments on: How about the sexualization of boys? http://karenrayne.com/2007/03/12/how-about-the-sexualization-of-boys/ Sat, 11 Feb 2012 03:07:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Ted http://karenrayne.com/2007/03/12/how-about-the-sexualization-of-boys/comment-page-1/#comment-6818 Ted Wed, 25 May 2011 08:42:46 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=8#comment-6818 I was abused when I was 12 years old in 1961. So do the math. To this day even after 20+ years of psychologists and psychiatrists along with different meds, I still have a low self esteem, my mental maturity level is way back somewhere. I never felt comfortable around anyone who was my age or even much younger. Part of me has always felt like a kid and I have missed out a lot in life. My job performance suffered. I have little to no coping skills and I get overwhelmed so easily. I hate being this way and I hate that this has intruded into my life for 50 years. I was robbed of an innocent childhood. There is a long list of side effects from what happened when I was 12. I never acted out on anyone. I never told anyone about what happened to me until I was 38 years old and that was to a minister. He wasn't much help. I told my parents when I was 41. The only thing that was said to me was by my dad who said, "We don't think any less of you". I didn't know for another ten years that that was not a good response. I am retired now and don't feel like an old guy even though I see one in the mirror every day. We only get one chance in this life. It would be great to have just one do over. I wouldn't go to that d**n YMCA summer camp. I was abused when I was 12 years old in 1961. So do the math. To this day even after 20+ years of psychologists and psychiatrists along with different meds, I still have a low self esteem, my mental maturity level is way back somewhere. I never felt comfortable around anyone who was my age or even much younger. Part of me has always felt like a kid and I have missed out a lot in life. My job performance suffered. I have little to no coping skills and I get overwhelmed so easily. I hate being this way and I hate that this has intruded into my life for 50 years. I was robbed of an innocent childhood. There is a long list of side effects from what happened when I was 12. I never acted out on anyone. I never told anyone about what happened to me until I was 38 years old and that was to a minister. He wasn’t much help. I told my parents when I was 41. The only thing that was said to me was by my dad who said, “We don’t think any less of you”. I didn’t know for another ten years that that was not a good response. I am retired now and don’t feel like an old guy even though I see one in the mirror every day. We only get one chance in this life. It would be great to have just one do over. I wouldn’t go to that d**n YMCA summer camp.

]]> By: Dorian http://karenrayne.com/2007/03/12/how-about-the-sexualization-of-boys/comment-page-1/#comment-9 Dorian Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:29:00 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=8#comment-9 As a social worker, I work today with many adult males and we talk about sexuality, today and in the past and how it manifests in their lives. Many of these men tell me that sexuality did not dominate their thoughts EXCEPT as far as they believed it was the sociatal expectation that it WOULD dominate their thoughts and therefore, they felt less than because it did not. I belive this dynamic has increased in the years since these men were adolescent boys and that this dynamic does our young men a grave disservice that can only be undone with lots of talk about sexuality and expectations. As a social worker, I work today with many adult males and we talk about sexuality, today and in the past and how it manifests in their lives. Many of these men tell me that sexuality did not dominate their thoughts EXCEPT as far as they believed it was the sociatal expectation that it WOULD dominate their thoughts and therefore, they felt less than because it did not. I belive this dynamic has increased in the years since these men were adolescent boys and that this dynamic does our young men a grave disservice that can only be undone with lots of talk about sexuality and expectations.

]]> By: Robert http://karenrayne.com/2007/03/12/how-about-the-sexualization-of-boys/comment-page-1/#comment-8 Robert Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:24:00 +0000 http://karenrayne.com/?p=8#comment-8 As a former adolescent boy, I can say that sex does tend to dominate the idle thoughts of most young males. I'm don't think that boys are sexualized to the same degree as girls, nor as early, but they do receive a whole package of gender messages - men are strong, dominant, sexually agressive, powerful, etc. <br/><br/>I think Power, not sex, is the main idea that is pushed on boys. Men are powerful. To be a man, you must be powerful. Agressive sexuality is just one of the ways that adolescent boys try to express their sense of power. As a former adolescent boy, I can say that sex does tend to dominate the idle thoughts of most young males. I’m don’t think that boys are sexualized to the same degree as girls, nor as early, but they do receive a whole package of gender messages - men are strong, dominant, sexually agressive, powerful, etc.

I think Power, not sex, is the main idea that is pushed on boys. Men are powerful. To be a man, you must be powerful. Agressive sexuality is just one of the ways that adolescent boys try to express their sense of power.

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